Still Not Enough A's, But That's About To Change.

Well it's been over 2 years since my "Too Many Q's, Not Enough A's" post, and I still have way more Q's than A's. However, I now have a very important individual on my side, whom I will call Mary. She is, by far, the BEST teacher I have ever had and ever will have. She's going to try her hardest to help me make more things go MY way for a change. For way too long now, things generally go my mom's way.

Every important decision in my life so far has basically went as follows:

"I want to do this with my life."
(*this* being the college i want to go to, the fact that I REALLY want to find out if i could drive, or wanting to be in the Disney College Program, so that I can take the first step to working for Disney as an animator or a graphic designer, SO FREAKIN' BAD IT HURTS!)

"Well, I don't really think you need all of that. You can do just fine with a degree from Ivy Tech Community College and get an ok job and live an ok life right here, where I can drive you around and take care of you for the rest of your life."

"umm.....yeah..."

My mom means well. She is an amazing parent and friend. I don't know what I would ever do without her. She usually knows what's best for me, but I think she's wrong on this one. I don't regret going to Ivy Tech. If I hadn't, I never would have met these amazing people and that would have been a shame. However, this can't be all that I am meant to do. I didn't work my butt off through elementary, jr high, and high school to 'just' go to a community college and live a mediocre life.

I've got big dreams. Dreams of working in the Disney Design Group, Walt Disney Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios, or designing movie posters, covers, and advertisements. The chances of succeeding and achieving any of these dreams are slim, I know.

But somebody's got to make it out there, why can't it be me?

Changes

When I was a teenager, I did some crazy stuff. I remember one time at this party that I...ummm....I..uuh...

Ok so I wasn't a party go-er. But I'm sure I lied and snuck out of my house to .....umm...ok that wasn't me either.

What did I do when I was a teenager? Oh yeah, I remember...

a whole lot of NOTHING.

I just sat back and watched everyone else be crazy and spontaneous, while I did everything my parents wanted (for the most part anyway). All of the big and most of the smaller decisions I have made in my life, were always made with my parents' involvement. My mom even got to pick what college I went to.

I have to do something crazy/spontaneous before it's too late. I only have a few weeks of my teen years left. That is why I must do something so crazy...so rebellious..that it will make up for lost time. So here it is, ready?

I

Am

Going

to

.....

..........

Change my hair without parental approval or knowledge.

dun dun dun

.....

wow. crazy, right?


Yeah, well it's bigger than it sounds. My hair will not be the only change, it will only be the start.

My whole life, I've felt like I have been living inside a small shell. My parents (mainly mom) are too afraid to let me out of it. Sometimes, I'm too afraid to let me out of it. It's time for a change. It's time for me to make some decisions on my own. It time for me to do some things that I have always wanted to do, but never had the courage to.

Right now, my life is neither good nor bad. It's just there...passing me by way too fast. I've just been sitting back and waiting for something to happen...but what? What have I been waiting for all this time? Whatever it is, it hasn't happened. I don't think it's going to either, not if I just stay in this room, this shell, this safe place where nothing bad will happen, because nothing is happening at all. And nothing will happen, if I don't MAKE it happen.

"We must become the change we want to see."

Mahatma Ghandhi