Everyone has had a scapegoat at least once. We use them to avoid our real problems. We take our anger out on them when we are actually angry at someone completely different. I have one of those convienent scapegoats right now. I call her Hypnogirl. I think she has some kind of weird hypnotic power to make everyone think she's little miss perfect and the best artist in the 11th grade. I'm not saying that I am jealous of her, because I'm not. I am just curious about a few things. Why does she have so many guys that like her? What does she have, that I don't? What does Kalel see in her, that's not in me?
I don't actually even know that he still likes her. He might still be completely in love with her or he might have gotten over her in the past year, when she got a boyfriend. I found out that he liked her when he confessed it in an email a year ago. That's actually when I realized how much I really liked him. I didn't really mind Hypnogirl until that email. I started thinking about how much I didn't really like her, except I didn't really know why. Then I realized it was because Kalel liked her. I already liked him before that, but that was really when I started falling. hard. very hard.
Now I have a class with Kalel, so maybe...just maybe...he will stop being such a silly slowpoke and snap out of it. Maybe I can get him out of his hypnotic state, if he is still in it. On the other hand, I have not one, but two classes with Hypnogirl. All I have to say is, I better not have to partner up with her for something. It won't be happy. It's not that I hate her, she is just frustrating me. In reality, I am probably actually mad at Kalel for just wanting to stay my "friend". I guess I am just going to have to stay just his "friend" for now and see where having him in my art class goes. And then someday, I will take another risk and approach him about it. This time...it will be in person instead of on a piece of paper.
~lyss
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