A Clueless Boy, A Confusing "Friend", and A Crappy Sister

I have had three completely different things on my mind since Friday. I've been wanting and meaning to blog, but I didn't know which to blog about first. I usually talk about only one subject at a time. This time, though, I am going to be different.

The Clueless: (and yes. It is Kalel....again.)

I know I talk about him a lot, but it's not my fault. I'm going to see him...and Hypnogirl....everyday now. Seeing him this much should be a good thing, right? Most of the time it is and will be, but sometimes he makes me so angry! He doesn't even do anything wrong. He doesn't say anything to hurt me. He is just so CLUELESS!!! I could be right there next to him, totally staring right at him and he wouldn't even notice. He is defineately being hypnotised by you know who. I just know it. Why else would he add another class that she just so happened to be in? I mean, I know he likes art and he may like making pottery, I don't know. But is it just a coincidence that little miss amazing was in that class before he joined? Is it just a coincidence that he joined a class she was in, after her and her boyfriend broke up? I know what he is trying to do. He is trying to hypnotise her. When will he see that the girl who sits next to him doesn't need to be hypnotised. That was already done a long time ago and he wasn't even trying.

The Confusing:

I have only talked to Winnie once in the past 2 months. I have only seen her three times in the past 3-4 months (All three times I saw her, were for only about 2 seconds each. No words were said.) I'm losing her. I can't decide if that is good or bad. Maybe it is best if we just go our separate ways. It would sure save me a ton of headaches. On the other hand, if she ever does something really stupid or something happens to her, I will probably blame myself for not being there for her when I had once promised her I would be.

The Crappy:

Very few people even know I have a sister. I also have a brother, but most people are aware of that. You see, my dad was married before he met my mom. So, before me, he had Jess and Nelle. When I was little, they came over ever other weekend. I was actually kind of close-ish to my sister, until she moved in with a friend. Then she started making promises she couldn't keep, made lame excuses, and stopped coming around. She once promised she would come to my birthday party. I was so excited because I hadn't seen her in a while. People started coming, we ate cake, I opened presents, and then the phone rang. She said she couldn't make it because she "didn't feel good". Well guess what? After that phone call, I didn't feel very good either. I knew she was lying. I knew she just didn't want to go to some little girl's lame birthday party. She would much rather hang out with her friends than her own little sister. That fact has never changed. She doesn't know anything about me, nor does she try to get to know me. The only time I ever see her is on Christmas (sometimes) and very, very special occasions, like our niece being born and our brother's wedding. She says she doesn't have time to come visit, yet she can come see Landri at least once a month. She doesn't bother coming to see her dad or her sister. On the bright side though, I did get a very good brother. Jess actually has time for me and Dad. He knows me a lot better than Nelle ever did. He even kicked an enemy/bully of mine out of his wedding reception after party thing. Oh yea, and I now have a NEW sister that is way cooler than my real one. She even knows me better. Also they gave me the most adorable little niece ever! ^^

~lyss

She Has Become A Convienent Scapegoat

Everyone has had a scapegoat at least once. We use them to avoid our real problems. We take our anger out on them when we are actually angry at someone completely different. I have one of those convienent scapegoats right now. I call her Hypnogirl. I think she has some kind of weird hypnotic power to make everyone think she's little miss perfect and the best artist in the 11th grade. I'm not saying that I am jealous of her, because I'm not. I am just curious about a few things. Why does she have so many guys that like her? What does she have, that I don't? What does Kalel see in her, that's not in me?

I don't actually even know that he still likes her. He might still be completely in love with her or he might have gotten over her in the past year, when she got a boyfriend. I found out that he liked her when he confessed it in an email a year ago. That's actually when I realized how much I really liked him. I didn't really mind Hypnogirl until that email. I started thinking about how much I didn't really like her, except I didn't really know why. Then I realized it was because Kalel liked her. I already liked him before that, but that was really when I started falling. hard. very hard.

Now I have a class with Kalel, so maybe...just maybe...he will stop being such a silly slowpoke and snap out of it. Maybe I can get him out of his hypnotic state, if he is still in it. On the other hand, I have not one, but two classes with Hypnogirl. All I have to say is, I better not have to partner up with her for something. It won't be happy. It's not that I hate her, she is just frustrating me. In reality, I am probably actually mad at Kalel for just wanting to stay my "friend". I guess I am just going to have to stay just his "friend" for now and see where having him in my art class goes. And then someday, I will take another risk and approach him about it. This time...it will be in person instead of on a piece of paper.

~lyss